I purposely didn’t watch the Oscars.
Although proud of the historic moment with Will Packer, a Black Man, producing it for the first time…I simply was not in the mood for watching others’ dreams come true when I’m in dream chasing mode myself…and in grief after news of a close family friend’s murder. (Lawd help!)
But of course, my phone and timeline started blowing up after The Slap. “Was it real??” After all, these are two actors and it was a show. But let’s talk about another reason why many questioned AT FIRST whether it was a stunt or not….IT was out of Will Smith’s image. I started to say out of his character…but I’m not so sure.
I’m a huge Will Smith fan….been loving me some him and his interesting yet complicated family for decades. I gets down with Chris Rock too. So my first reaction honestly was EMBARRASSMENT. If you don’t know, every Black person carries the invisible weight of “representing” on their shoulders, whether they are aware of it or not…and Will Smith has carried it…represented US with grace and a smile for years.
But if one has been paying attention AT ALL, one would know ain’t nobody the same. We must accept that there is NO NEW NORMAL. There’s just DIFFERENT. There’s a pre-pandemic and a post-pandemic version of all of us. Some of us have simply removed The Mask…no longer willing to play The Game. I believe that be Will Smith right about now…in my Westsiddddde voice. (if you know, you know...)
Honestly, I’m more than happy to NORMALIZE some of these changes.
For instance….
- Let’s normalize NOT wounding each other verbally for the sake of a laugh or entertainment. I know, I know…the NATURE of comedy is talking about people. And BLACK FOLKS are notorious, whether famous or not, for using PERSONAL information, “flaws”, insecurities, painful experiences and COMPLETELY devouring each other through “just joking”, “playing the dozens”, “talking sh*t”, and “scorin’ “. This happens in families, amongst friends, acquaintances, rivals….we PURPOSELY hurt each other with the most sensitive information possible. (Cue every hip hop “diss record” ever made…BRUTAL!) Most black folks…and those that grew up in The Culture…had to learn how to defend themselves verbally or else be utterly obliterated, build protective walls so information could not be used against them and learn to ACT LIKE it didn’t hurt. Then we end up having to heal with some “Jesus & Therapy”…or simply walk around wounding others the same way we were wounded. Low self esteem, image and confidence many times are results of THE WORDS that folks who were supposed to love us inflicted upon us….usually NOT out of malice. We need to stop this…forever.
- Let’s normalize NOT acting like we’re OK when we are not. If you watched Will Smith’s docu-series on Youtube “The Best Shape of My Life”, you would not have been completely surprised by his violent tag last night. He has been in a transformation for quite awhile…and just like the pandemic and all of the craziness in the world affected you and I, I’m sure it heightened EVERYTHING for him as well. Or lowered his tolerance. Will is tired of folks. He’s tired of being a “people pleaser”. He’s tired of “grinning n’ bearing it”. He’s tired of people saying all kinds of things about and to his family. And he is screaming it in some of the most vulnerable spaces, like online and on television. He is HUMAN. Shocker.
- Let’s normalize BEING OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES. I actually learned this lesson back in my pre-teens. I literally gave up trying to be something I’m not. Now I remained in a state of discovering who I actually was probably up until college. That simply included trying different things and having experiences I was drawn to. But trying to project AN IMAGE that I thought would allow me to be accepted and loved by others…I let that go at probably 12 or 13 years old. So it is literally painful for me to experience others in their 30s, 40s, 50s and up STILL wearing masks…still doing it for The Gram. Social media is one of the fakest places on Earth. Which is why I try to demonstrate my authenticity as often as possible in my small piece of the internet.
- Let’s normalize seeing Black Men unapologetically PROTECTING Black Women. And I’m not talking just about Will protecting Jada in that moment..when he saw the joke was hurtful to her. But CHRIS ROCK should have protected her too. Chris has Black daughters. He did a whole documentary on BLACK WOMEN & OUR HAIR. Joking about Jada’s forced bald-head should have not been on his list. And for all those getting OFF TOPIC, bringing up how Will didn’t slap August during the entanglement…you have no idea what happened behind the scenes if you weren’t there. It’s not an apples to apples situation anyway. There was no protection needed in that case. Jada was doing Jada and not under attack or the brunt of a joke in a roomful of people laughing AT her, not WITH her.
I wish The Slap didn’t happen. And definitely not onstage….in front of the world…and White People. Remember, whether Black Folks like it or not, our actions are under scrutiny 24/7. Some things SHOULD BE handled “in house”. Selah.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 GIRL!!!!!! PERFECTLY SAID!!!!
Thanks!
VERY well stated! You’re absolutely correct and I agree 100%!!! Great blog, Mai!
Thanks!
Could have been handled differently on both sides like back stage and talk about it. If it were Jimmy Kimmel would Will have responded the same way? IJS….
I’m not sure. Perhaps. But I think there’s history there…something that pushed him over the edge and it all may not have had to do with Chris Rock. It was a moment…that’s for sure!
I enjoyed this perspective! Too many people have discussed how disappointed they were with Will, but ignored and overlooked Chris’ actions in the matter. Honestly, I don’t think comedians should host events such as the Oscars. Some comedians have no couth regarding sensitive matters. Overall, award shows are for celebration and I feel like, over time, the focus of that has changed.
I agree! Some comedians take things too far. Did Will overreact? Perhaps. That’s the problem when you hit below the belt, even as a comedian, you never know if the person is in the right state of mind to “take it”. I have a feeling both Will and Jada have been grinning through slick comments all award season. I was proud of Chris for not making it worse but reacting emotionally as well.
Loved this and my sentiments exactly. Anyone paying attention to Will’s emotional vulnerability and his “I ain’t taking no more of this $**t” stance unfolding could see it that’s if you are truly hearing and seeing him these last few months. It all boils down to we all human beings. Everybody has a “fit of carnality” even if some won’t admit it. The real essence of us being human is hopefully we deal, heal and carry onward. And as I said while watching, people out here really forgetting Will is from West Philly! Come on now.
Right!!! He is STILL a Philly dude…no matter how long he’s been in Hollywood. Great point! Thanks for coming through!
Part of me still believes it was staged for theatrics, but if it was not, I would say Will was out of character and I have never heard of him in the past responding with physical violence. He’s usually easy going. If that was an authentic response, then he over reacted. No question about it. So did she. That movie actually portrayed a woman who was strong enough to take on a male dominated industry and she did it with style and grace. That should have been received as a compliment, at least, that is how I would have spun it.
Chile…she knew he didn’t mean it as a compliment so she didn’t take it as such! lol
I have been seeing some commentary that in some way blames Jada for what happened. Like she should have stopped him or she should have just taken the joke in stride and just laughed. I disagree with that. It is incredibly brave to be vulnerable with something like losing your hair…having attention brought to and being laughed at by a roomful of folks AND possibly folks around the world due to a “joke”…when you’re already thugging the situation out the best you can?? Nah…I probably would have had the same face as she did. She handled it with grace by not saying or doing anything but rolling her eyes. It would have hurt my feelings. And Chris Rock knows them. Hollywood is small. SUCCESSFUL BLACK Hollywood is even smaller. It was bad choices made by both men..and she is in the crossfire by no choice of her own…this time.
Well said. I have been praying for reconciliation and healing! I am so hoping this can be a turnaround moment. We can do it.
Amen! I agree. If both statements that I read were real…it seems we are on the right track. Although the statement from Chris Rock..I don’t know where it originated as I can’t seem to find it on his FB or Instagram….
Chris Rock did the right thing and apologized, Of course, he should have apologized. Some jokes are across the line. There is no difference if Jada shaved her head for cancer. Her condition may be even worse. It is not joking material, and as a professional comedian, he can’t plead the fifth. He should have cared enough to find out before he made the joke. PLUS, this is not the first time Chris Rock crossed the line publicly speaking about Jada. In 2016, when Will and Jada boycotted the Oscars because of a lack of Black representation, Chris said,“Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited.” In both instances, he had no reason to just pick on Jada. Those who wanted Will to apologize before Chris did are moral hypocrites. #protectandrespectblackwomen
Absolutely. I do think Chris crossed the line…and he caught Will at a bad moment for sure. And just like in black families, I don’t think Chris had malicious intent BUT it still was hurtful and tactless….as many jokes are that uses personal issues. Thank you for your thoughts Michael!
Wonderfully stated. I don’t go to comedy shows. I agree that black people, especially black men start demasculating each other very early in life playing “The dozens”. Black men throughout history have belittled women, operating in misogynistic behavior. The bottom line is, judgement should be utilized in every thing you do.
Absolutely! So true..must utilize good judgement always. Thanks for your feedback Brandi!
Such a great take on the situation! Every point you touched on hit the nail on the head. What’s your thoughts on ramifications/consequences for Will, Jada and Chris? Yes, I said Jada too, because people are already placing Will’s actions on her.
All of them surely are suffering the consequences from the moment it happened…that’s for sure. That’s why I never bought that it was “staged”…at least not in the sense of being fake. I think it was…calculated from the moment Will saw Jada’s face. That said, the only one that should have any “official” consequence (if any) should be Will. And that consequence should be between him and Chris. Unfortunately, this will be an opportunity for “the powers that be” to make an example, whether publicly or privately, out of the Smith family. And I HATE that Will put himself…put them, in this position. It is a vulnerable one. The apologies..the tap dancing…the continuing to “grin and bear” being talked to in certain ways…or “forced” to talk about it..to make restitution to the disappointed world. Arghhhhh. But we’ll see.
Beautifully and articulately stated. I agree with you, 100% Bravo! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Your piece would’ve made an excellent addition to “The Show” on Monday night. 😉😥😘
Awww…yes. That would have been a good discussion! I think we’re going to “have to” talk about it on Good Love next week. Chile THE NARRATIVES spinning is crazy!!! smh lol
Thanks for coming through!
Very well put!